Author: Rose Sylvester

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A Quest for Healing Ravishing Rose Blog

How can talk therapy be somatic (of the body)?

In my own exploration of the self, I have noticed there can sometimes be a disconnect between my mind’s desires and my body’s desires. My mind might say, ‘all is well today let’s keep on keeping on‘ and in the same moment my body will be shrieking that there is a terrible problem that needs rectifying. This can happen in reverse as well. Through the process of trying to understand and harmonize the two, I came across the term somatic to describe the act of harmonizing the mind and the body. This sometimes looks like exercising the mind to connect with the body. Due to my own success with it, my counseling practice makes use of these themes.

But, how does talking elicit bodily sensation? In fact, a therapist can help orient you towards your body’s sensations in conversation and support you in becoming aware of and interpreting your body and her messages. Through the use of exercises to promote bodily awareness and discussion of the results of this work, we can help to develop a shared language through which your body and mind understand one another. This doesn’t mean we can necessarily always control one with the other, but there are ways we can use this knowledge to influence how we feel or perceive.

Sometimes this type of talk therapy can be enough to achieved desired outcomes and folks can move through places they are feeling stuck mentally. Others might find that this type of therapy is a good start and that something even more physical could take them a step further in their restorative journey. There are modalities like dance therapy, music therapy, and art therapy that can help us understand some of those parts of us that aren’t able or ready to be verbal.

At the end of the day, it works if you work it and you will get as much out of therapy as you feel ready to put into it. My desire is to consider the healing journey as one of joy, play and sorrow. Feeling deeply all of the things that this life has to offer. All of them temporary and delicate.

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A Quest for Healing Ravishing Rose Blog

What is therapy?

Therapy is depicted in a variety of ways in a media context that may lend itself to a confusing idea of what it’s meant to be. Additional, over time therapy has evolved. You might be familiar with the traditional Freudian version and imagine yourself lying on a couch with a therapist sitting out of sight behind you, listening quietly while you speak about your follies. These days therapy is much more dynamic and can be conducted on the phone, the computer, in a dance studio or even on a bicycle in some cases. After the plague, online options became more available and continue to thrive. This is particularly important to those who live in rural areas or for folks who are looking for specific qualities in a therapist that they have yet to find within their geographic region.

There are all kinds of specialties and types of therapy that are offered, but the majority of therapy is considered ‘talk therapy’ where a licensed, or in some cases unlicensed, therapist offers their professionally trained listening skills in exchange for an agreed upon fee. Many therapists offer a free 15-20 minute consultation so that clients can get a sense of their style and personality and they can both assess whether it might be a good fit.

Some of you might wonder, ‘What does a good fit mean?’. This means that you feel a sense of comfortability when interacting with the therapist that allows you to share as honestly and authentically as you are able about what’s bringing you to therapy. Therapy can be a vulnerable endeavour and is most effective when there is good rapport built between therapist and client.

This is not to say that you won’t be uncomfortable at times during therapy, as you might put yourself outside of your comfort zone in order to make change. You might even feel certain feelings of frustration, attraction, or friendship with your therapist at times due to the nature of the work. In my own experience as a client, I have found that bringing these feelings up to my therapist will often help me navigate them, learn something about myself and determine if it continues to be a good fit for me.

At the end of the day, you are the only one that can know if this is the therapy for you or if this is the right time to give it a go. Booking a consultation can sometimes help clarify these questions for you. You might even notice some increased motivation towards your goals simply by having an appointment on the calendar. As I navigate my own personal work in therapy, I desire to be gentle with myself because I know it is sensitive and vulnerable even just to show up and I trust that I am doing my best just for today.

Image by lifeforstock on Freepik

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Power Ravishing Rose Blog

Exploring Power Dynamics: A Series

Mentor/Mentee, Master/Subordinate, Sponsor/Sponsee, Therapist/Client

I started this series as a single blog post and then after I released it, I felt a sense of incompleteness. So I wrote a second post and then it became a two part series. Then recently I remembered how overwhelmed I was when I wrote my capstone project for my masters. The idea of writing an enormous paper based on several other papers was intimidating. So I started  a blog and began writing pieces of it, one at a time. I really wanted to explore power dynamics more directly in my capstone, but the topic had to be narrowed down in order to make it manageable. I remain curious about power dynamics and it feels fairly impossible to filter them down into one cohesive article. Here’s part one of many:

Part I:

All relationships contain a power dynamic of some kind. Sometimes it’s heavily negotiated, often we come with preconceptions of what is expected of us, or society might have instructed us on how this label of relationship is meant to ‘look’. I’m grateful to have experienced both sides of various intentional power dynamics which can minimize, but doesn’t necessarily negate, the experience of a power struggle.

One example is when a sponsee of mine and I discussed expectations when we started working together as sponsee and sponsor. It felt somewhat awkward and difficult to pinpoint and articulate exactly what each of our expectations were. I had a sponsor several years earlier, who appeared very clear around what she expected of me and we made adjustments as we went along. It was early on in my recovery and I was looking for that power structure of someone telling me what to do. Now I have a more collaborative style which lends itself to less clear cut rules and more negotiated agreement.

With my current sponsee, at my request, we also talked about what the difference between a sponsor and a therapist. My training as a therapist indicates that the focus is on the client’s experience and my own story is discussed only in a limited way. It is more appropriate for me to share about my personal struggles with fellows in recovery. Sometimes my sponsee holds space for my overwhelm, but with a focus on centering her goals for recovery in our work. When I am paid for a therapeutic exchange, I vigorously anchor the client’s experience in session as a trade for funds. These funds represent the energy and expertise I put forth by focusing on their experience almost entirely for a negotiated period of time.

Like I said before, breaking down these power dynamics can feel awkward and clunky at first. We want to leave behind a compare and despair attitude as no dynamic we have witnessed or experienced before is a perfect mirror for the one we might be encountering in this moment, though our brains might try to convince us otherwise for simplicity sake. As I come to better understand power, the desire I hold is that I not only know how to identify and ask for what I need or want, but to know if I’m available to receive it as well.

Image sourced through: <a href=”https://www.vecteezy.com/free-photos/lightning”>Lightning Stock photos by Vecteezy</a>